Increasing the dialogue among stakeholders in New Jersey’s special education system

By Asher Zerbib

What I remember most about high school are the long, gaping hallways. Perhaps the architecture of a school is not what is relevant, but it is what I recall first when I think of high school.

I also recall that the scheduling threw me off a bit – especially in freshman year. We had ‘A’ days and ‘B’ days – so every day was different. There were too many changes and sometimes I got mixed up. Sometimes I would miscalculate the day, or the time, and by the time I realized it, it was too late. I never intended to skip class, but by the time I realized my mistake, I would just skip. It would have been much easier if the days were the same. I guess it depends on how good your memory is. Color coding may have helped.

In high school, I would feel awkward sometimes. Perhaps it was high school growing pains, but I remember feeling awkward about a lot of things.

When I was younger in elementary and middle school, I had a helper, but in high school, I felt like it was time for me to move on. I felt like I was getting older and it was high time to walk on my own two feet. I had to – and wanted to – do this on my own. It was hard at first, but practice made perfect. I just kept at it and in time, I got better at solving my own problems when they arose.

I took different classes – Math, English, Chemistry, but I really did not have any favorite subjects. I was just here to earn points, get credentials and do what I had to do. I was focused on my future, not the present.

I do remember one teacher who taught math in an unorthodox way. She had a way about her that was all in good jest. It was the most colorful math class. When we got our work done- she even made sure we got our homework done. I felt like she was one of us – she had charm. You could unwind a little without a lot of pressure. She was easy to understand and she made the class a place where I felt comfortable and accepted.

The classes where I learned the most were where the teachers got more visual about things – drew a picture and used diagrams – that is how I learn things. Just writing lessons and definitions did not help – I needed to imagine it or picture it.

It also helped me to have choices in the way I did my work. Projects were not a strong suit of mine, mostly due to procrastination, which was usually caused by not liking the work itself.

Some teachers would have us work with a partner, which was hard for me – I just could not relate to some people. I also found that no one really used my suggestions – I was brushed off because I was awkward or I came on too strong.

There were not many classmates I would consider to be friends. Most were apathetic and did not really look my way or consider me. I was the tall, quiet one who did not talk much.

I was too afraid to open up to people. Most mainstream people would not give a glance at the things that interested me, so I did not tell them much.

I did get involved in some extracurricular activities and took a film class about shooting video and film. Me and several other students learned various film techniques and saw different movies. I had a camera, and made a film. That is how I learned about Full Sail University, where I attended college briefly.

I do recall that I got in trouble a lot – mostly because people did not understand me. I cannot begin to count the number of times, in middle school and high school. It was almost always because someone misunderstood me. It typically was caused when other students were being annoying and talking about things that did not have to do with school. The teachers did not do anything about it- they expected me to figure it out on my own – they would not jump in.

My advice is that teachers need to learn when to step in and help. Some students will just keep picking away at others – they just won’t stop. Be better at your job- don’t turn a blind eye and hope that things will magically solve problems, like in the media. It won’t happen unless you step up and do something.

Sometimes things are so out of hand – students were warned multiple times but they did not stop their misbehavior. Teachers need to step in to do something about it. When teachers don’t do this – nothing is corrected. The teacher will snap and give a punishment that is disproportionate- often to those who were not even at fault.

Notice when a student needs help. Notice when he has tried but failed to resolve a situation. Step in and counsel those who need your help, and discipline those who have broken rules.

I was not interested in the people then. I just focused on doing well in school – perhaps I took it too seriously. During high school, my grades were a roller coaster – good sometimes, bad sometimes.

I did not have a big social circle and I still don’t. Then, I was not that interested. Now I am.

My advice to students like me: Don’t place the weight of the world on your own shoulders – you will buckle under the pressure. Look to others for help.

Just find a group of people where you belong. Don’t be solitary – it is not very fun. Don’t go it alone.

Asher Zerbib is a 2012 graduate of Hopewell Valley Central High School in Pennington New Jersey.